Monday, August 31, 2009

one year blogoversary

One year ago I started this blog as a way to document my journey along the path that I hoped would make me a mother. One year ago I was excited and nervous, while anticipating what might be my future. Well the past year hasn't exactly turned out as anticipated. This is my blogging year in review.

August 08: Elated because our file was approved by our Provincial Government. Deflated because our agency needlessly sent it to Ottawa for authentication which resulted in a month of wasted time.

September 08: Excited because our file was finally in the hands of our American agency.

October 08: Frustrated at the length of time it was taking them to approve our file.

November 08: Full of anticipation because our file was now approved and active.

December 08: Bouncing off the walls with excitement because we received word the first time that our profile would be shown. Crushed when we found out she didn't pick us. Distressed at the process our American agency uses with us having to approve each and every time our profile is shown.

January 09: The New Year brought feelings of hope and possibility.

February 09: Anger and frustration with our Canadian agency when we found out decisions were being made about our file without our knowledge and consent.

March 09: Overall frustration with the process but still hopeful for the future.

April 09: The sadness began to set in at the length of waiting (we were now updating our file) and knowing our profile was shown a few times but we weren't picked.

May 09: Stressed out with the process. Minimal excitement felt when receiving word that our profile would be shown.

June 09: In shock. A picked us!

July 09: In shock. Baby was born sick so the adoption couldn't proceed. Grief and sadness proceeded to take over once again.

August 09: Feeling empty. Trying to find a small piece of hope in what feels like the impossible quest to have a family.

Here's to hoping that the next 12 months will bring more joy and happiness...

Sunday, August 30, 2009

august book for our collection

Today we purchased the August book for our "waiting" book collection. I forgot the list of book recommendations from many of you, I'll need to remember them next month. But there sure is something fun about going to a book store and slowly walking the aisles picking up books that catch your eye. (I love new books!). And then the excitement felt when you find a good one that both of you like!

This month we picked Dear Zoo by Rod Campbell. It's been around for 25 years so it must have something going for it!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

book recommendation

I recently read an excellent book that I would highly recommend to anyone interested in reading about African slavery in America. The Book of Negroes is historical fiction written by Lawrence Hill (Canadian author!). This book is stunning and I believe a must read for transracial families with African American children.

Abducted as an 11-year-old child from her village in West Africa and forced to walk for months to the sea in a coffle - a string of slaves - Aminata Diallo is sent to live as a slave in South Carolina. But years later, she forges her way to freedom, serving the British in the Revolutionary War and registering her name in the historic "Book of Negroes". This book, an actual document, provides a short but immensely revealing record of freed Loyalist slaves who requested permission to leave the US for resettlement in Nova Scotia, only to find that the haven they sought was steeped in an oppression all of its own. Aminata's eventual return to Sierra Leone - passing ships carrying thousands of slaves bound for America - is an engrossing account of an obscure but important chapter in history that saw 1,200 former slaves embark on a harrowing back-to-Africa odyssey.

Lawrence Hill is a master at transforming the neglected corners of history into brilliant imaginings, as engaging and revealing as only the best historical fiction can be. A sweeping story that transports the reader from a tribal African village to a plantation in the southern United States, from the teeming Halifax docks to the manor houses of London, The Book of Negroes introduces one of the strongest female characters in recent Canadian fiction, one who cuts a swath through a world hostile to her colour and her sex.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

humor on a sunday afternoon

On Friday I received this email from a colleague. I actually laughed out loud a few times and that hasn't happened much in the last while. Hope you enjoy some humor on a Sunday afternoon!


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs.Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samsel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away!' This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

our "waiting" book collection

A few months ago, D and I decided to mark the passing of each month of waiting. Instead of marking the time with tears and sorrow we decided to purchase a new kids book every month for our growing collection.

The first month
we bought a classic book that belongs in all adoptive family libraries. A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza.

The next month D decided that we needed to look for a book about daddies. There is little out there but we found a cute little gem in My Daddy and Me by Tina Macnaughton.

Then we missed a month.

Last month we decided on a Sandra Boynton book. Her books are so cute and full of fun. We bought Hippos go Berserk.

What shall we buy this month? Any good kids book suggestions?

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

trying to believe in the impossible

Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "One can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had as much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age I did it for half an hour a day. Why sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

-- Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

I'm working on it...