I confess that I have been stalker-ish.
T and I attend a lovely play group. I'll usually go with a friend so we can chat while the kids are running crazy. All of the mom's at this group were strangers to me and it's a big group - it's open 4 days a week.
The play group is held in the sanctuary of our new church. They move all the chairs and set out amazing and wonderful toys. It is here that I chatted with a volunteer mom about their church and after that discussion D and I have been attending ever since. During that initial discussion I was told of a family that also attends the church with a black mom, white dad, and 2 biracial kids....and then she showed up at the play group later.
I have been stalking her ever since!
Let me explain.
She is lovely and her son appeared to be T's age so I have noticed her at church and play group. I've tried to encourage T's playing in the direction of where her son is but those of you who know my son, know that getting him to play in one spot is impossible. Then one day at the end of play group she was standing by the door, I said "bye" and she said "see you on Sunday." I was shocked. She had noticed me! So I stopped and we chatted for a bit and I found out that her son is 3 weeks younger then T. Perfect!
At church I have also exhibited stalker-ish behaviours as I'm the one bringing T back to kids church and I make sure I bump into every black mom that is doing the same. Pathetic I know.
I've chatted with the mom first met at play group a few times during church now. We even met up at play group together on purpose and chatted for awhile. And last Sunday after church she extended a future invitation to their house for lunch.
I joke about the stalker thing but there is some truth in that statement. If D and I are truly going to meet new families of color to invest in and hopefully have invest in us then we need to be intentional. This means going out of our way and comfortable bubble to meet people. Not all will develop into relationships with meaning but I hope some will.
I do have a very good feeling about the family from church that we have met. And I really hope that we can develop a friendship.
And maybe someday I'll tell her about how I stalked her...