Wednesday, November 24, 2010

a friend in need

Entering the adoption world has provided me with many new friends. There is an instant bond, an understanding that occurs between adoptive and prospective adoptive parents. No one else can quite "get it".

One of my very good adoptive mama friends needs your positive thoughts and prayers. She has experienced a rocky journey and right when we all thought it would be over they hit a major roadblock. And I mean MAJOR.

Not the kind of roadblock that one grieves and moves past to continue waiting for a child. This is the kind of roadblock that ends the entire process for them forever. Forever.

I can't disclose the roadblock but just know that it is utterly and entirely ridiculous. There aren't even any appropriate words in the English language to describe how absurd this situation is. No words...except quite a few expletives.

Half way around the world court proceedings will take place tomorrow to decide their fate. To you this is just another woman waiting for an adoption, but to me this is an important friend and I hurt so much seeing her broken and in despair. Please pray, think positive thoughts, send positive energy into the universe, or whatever else suits your fancy. I need to believe that God still performs miracles. He still does, right?

In the end we can't do anything else but wait and watch a stranger determine my friend's future.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

i don't have to think about...

I'm behind on my blog reading. Today I poked around Heather's blog Production, Not Reproduction and came across this excellent post titled Things I Don't Have to Think About Today.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

what not to say

I recently stumbled across this great post about what not to say to transracial adoptive families. I honestly can't believe the nerve of some people.

Friday, November 5, 2010


A good friend of mine took family photos of us shortly after T turned one year old. It was mid-September and the day was gorgeous. I know my friend is a good photographer (she took T's baby pictures as well) so I was expecting some great photos.

But what she showed me blew me away. They are stunning.

I have watched the slideshow of all our pictures countless times and each time I am struck with feelings of privilege, gratitude, and blessing. I've been thinking about all of this for at least a week and still have a hard time even articulating what it is that I feel to myself, but I'm going to give it a try.

I sometimes wonder if, as an adoptive mom, my experience and feelings of motherhood basics are somewhat different from a biological mom. I know that at times I definitely have a different perspective on motherhood -- waiting and working so hard to become something that many take forgranted will do that. But what I am referring to here is different.

I feel an intense sense of privilege at having been given the opportunity to parent this remarkable little boy. And in this context I am referring to privilege as an honor and pleasure. As I look at our family photos I wonder how it is that I am so fortunate to be allowed to watch T grow up and develop. I am still struck by the fact that I am his mom and have the potential to greatly impact his life.

The key concept here is opportunity. Having a family wasn't assumed or a given. Entering motherhood via adoption brings with it a sense of awe. We were chosen. A stranger decided that we would parent their child. An amazing set of circumstances made becoming a mom possible.

There is a depth and richness to what I am feeling that I'm not sure I can ever fully explain. I am so incredibly grateful for T's presence in my life. After experiencing 18 months of loss, the joy motherhood has granted me is indescribable.

The photos tell part of our story. And to me it's a beautiful moment. A moment of privilege, blessing, and gratitude.

And to my photographer friend (you know who you are!)...I am also grateful for you and your willingness to share your time and talent. Thank you.

I will post a few of my favourite photos on T's private blog. If you want access, leave a comment or send me an email, letting me know who you are.