Tuesday, August 28, 2012

her name

I've frequently posted about naming a child since this is a much thought about process in adoption land. This is not to say that bio parents don't think intentionally about naming a child. But those of us who adopt a child need to think differently about naming...considering many of us never get to actually use a name.

Before we met baby T we had a girls name picked out. And for the life of me I can't remember how we picked that name. D and I still loved this girls name, so baby S it was. Now for the middle name.

When we thought about naming baby T we were quite intentional when thinking about options. So I also wanted to be intentional about naming this baby girl. This was an interesting thing for me to ponder considering I was in such a crazy state of mind at the time. But yet I was aware enough to know that this was important.

Baby S or protected by God. Again, can't remember how we picked this name but I think it's interesting considering that over the course of my pregnancy I do believe she was guarded by God.

I thought really hard about her middle name. Not only did it need to go nicely with the first, it also needed to mean something special. I googled and searched for unigue names where the meaning was along the lines of being filled with joy. Even though I was struggling with this pregnancy and the thought of having another child, I knew this baby would bring us intense joy in the future. I knew this in my head but not yet in my heart. For that to occur I needed to meet her.

No unique names stood out for me, so plain old Joy it was. And the more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with this simple name and its deep meaning. D still wasn't convinced and after her birth we continued to argue discuss this name. In the end I won out as I pulled the "I just pushed a watermelon out of a pinhole" card!

And I love it. Her full name means protected by God and a deep feeling of great delight.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

365 days

This was the week. One year ago I found out I was pregnant.

The year has been filled with many emotions. Actually I've likely felt all emotions possible. It's been interesting pondering the past year while looking at the beautiful little lady who entered my life four months ago.

I will not deny what the past has meant and how it has played a role in my present state of mind. I will never sugar coat what I felt one year ago and the process I went through. That was real.

However. Life has clearly moved on and baby S has arrived. I'm now knee deep in diapers, breastfeeding, and spit-up. Not to mention the daily discipline my almost three year old requires. Most days I'm just managing to survive and little time is spent pondering the past or even the future. These days we're mostly living in the present.

So 365 days later, there are a few things I know for sure. Baby S has captured my heart and soul...the road to get here was not easy...but it has refined and deepened my character and that should serve me well.