waiting

Do you ever have the feeling that you’re waiting for something that will never happen? I’m not really speaking about the waiting period we’re in right now – our file only arrived at our American agency last week so we know we have a bit of a wait ahead of us. But I have been thinking about and hoping for a family for quite some time. I’m having a hard time visualizing our lives changing and a real live baby in our house. So while I’m preparing for a child I feel like I’m playing house because it doesn’t seem real. I actually feel silly making baby purchases since I am obviously not pregnant and I always wonder what the sales clerk is thinking.

A friend and adoptive parent told me the other day that the waiting is really hard right after you know your file is active and possibly being shown to expectant mothers. And then as the months march on the waiting changes and it doesn’t occupy quite so much brain space. Right now my brain is quite preoccupied with all of this! I’m going to need something to do and focus on during this waiting period. Any ideas? I think I need a good stack of fiction novels!