please don't say...#1

When you discover that someone without biological kids is planning to adopt a child, please don’t say…”Now you’re going to get pregnant!”

The stars and planets don’t line up in some magical way to cause conception as soon as the ink has dried on an adoption application form. The statistics do not show that more people become pregnant when they decide to pursue adoption. This is just simply not true.

And if someone does end up pregnant while they are in the adoption process please don’t automatically assume that they won’t want to adopt any more. Many of us who are in this, are in it for good. When D and I decided to pursue adoption we talked about what we would do if somewhere in this process we became pregnant. All along we have been completely in this, we know that at least one of our kids will be adopted regardless if we conceive or not. You can’t be in this 50%...not with all the paperwork and agency headaches! When someone in the adoption process becomes pregnant and now has to stop the process (in Canada you have to wait until the bio kid is at least 6m before pursuing adoption), please acknowledge their grief for the child they were expecting and anticipating through adoption.

And lastly, ALL babies are miracles. People have said that they are praying for us to have a “miracle baby.” We WILL have a miracle baby through adoption (and not in that it’s a miracle because it’s God’s divine plan kind of way) simply because I believe that every time a child enters the world it is a miracle. To be pregnant and in crisis is not a good situation, but the fact that conception took place is in and of itself a miracle. Egg and sperm meet in a hostile environment, it’s a wonder that anyone conceives! (Was that too much information?!).