I think I am about to go crazy in this waiting period! We were set up by our agency to think that our waiting time would be very quick. Well, that of course depends on what your definition of quick is. I know that many times this agency places children within a couple of months. Even though we haven't been waiting a really long time yet, I'm still struggling. When you are given certain expectations it is hard to let them go.
First off, I am very aware of all the ethical dilemmas associated with newborn adoptions and I wouldn't agree to a quick unethical situation. I am simply wondering how I am going to survive this wait...this unknown period of time. It is so hard to live in the unknown. The unknown where you have no control. Totally sucks.
This is where I need your help. How would you survive a waiting period in the land of unknown? What would you do with your head and hands? I would love to just hibernate until it is all over but that doesn't seem possible (although it is cold enough here to give hibernating a reasonable try!). I need some suggestions on how to get through this time. I even need you lurkers to provide some strategies! All ideas and suggestions are welcome.
Help!
4 comments:
My "unknown" wait is TOTALLY different from yours, but I often feel like I'm waiting in an "unknown." Because Cupcake's Mom doesn't want to set up a visit/contact schedule, I often have no clue when contact will come again.
SO - what do I do?
First, I try to do my thing. I go to work, I enjoy my family (when they're not driving me nutso), and I live my life.
BUT, Cupcake IS my life. And your future child is likely on your mind a great deal as well :) SO, I do things like write in a journal to Cupcake. You could TOTALLY do this for your future child! One day, I bet they'd LOVE to read about the things Mommy did while she was waiting. What dreams do you have for your baby? What names do you like? I think it's something that you all might treasure one day!
I know that's not much help, and that the wait will still be killer, but you can do it!
Here's hoping it's a short wait from here :)
I can empathize, having done The Wait two times.
With the second (which was longer), I threw myself into some volunteer work. I volunteered with a hospice. It encouraged me to be very present and to surrender to the mystery and, most of all, to get outside myself.
Not that I did it all that well...
Good luck to you on this journey!
Hi there, We believed our waiting period would be really short too since we are adopting from the foster care system and I guess we haven't been waiting that long really but the lack of communication makes it feel like forever. I don't know what to suggest regarding the wait. I would just take it day by day. I know that's not much help. It's very frustrating I know. Good luck!
This is my first time visiting your blog and this post caught my eye. At two years after signing out initial papers to adopt siblings from Ethiopia and almost 11 months of "officially" waiting with the end nowhere in sight (we could be more than a year away still from brining our kids home), I may have a few suggestions. My biggest time-consuming yet positive hobby is scrapbooking. I would recommend that for sure.
But my biggest suggestion is to find a way during your waiting to help others. It is always when we are giving to others that we are least able to dwell on our own hardships. There is so much that can be done...volunteering to read to seniors, hold babies in the hospital, make meals for those who have lost a loved one, serve meals at a shelter, visit a shut-in, fold fliers, babysit for a mom who needs it, canvas for donations, anonymously deliver small gifts to someone going through a hard time who could use some cheering up, the list is endless. Many local papers have a searching for volunteers section with other ideas. I have found it to be true that this is always the best way to get through a difficult time and it will help keep you busy during the wait.
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