I’ve been struggling with a lack of motivation at my job for a number of months. Partly this is because of all the adoption related drama and I’m just so ready to begin the job of parenthood, and also because my job is changing. I work in community development and capacity building so the nature of my job dictates change and this makes complete sense. However, my strengths were best used previously and now not so much. Plus our grant funding will likely come to an end in the next year which means I am out of a job.
I had been actively looking for new work right up until I submitted notice of my upcoming parental leave. I had to submit notice well in advance considering this adoption could have happened right away after our file was approved. My employer has been very supportive and understanding of my unique situation and that I could need to leave work with a moments notice. I also stopped looking for a new job since I didn't think a new employer would be as understanding of my situation and might not grant me a leave. But this has meant that as each day drones on at my current job I become more and more unsettled and unhappy.
Even though I've learned that it's futile to put your life on hold dependant on a specific situation it's really hard to avoid this from happening when waiting for an adoption. If we plan any sort of major event I always wonder if we'll need to cancel or be around for it or miss the call, etc. So it has been really difficult to wrap my brain around my employment and the future.
And then recently a job posting went up for a great position that I would love. What do I do? Do I continue to work in a job where I am unhappy and the funding is limited just because I am guaranteed parental leave and everyone has been so great about it? Or do I continue to live life and take new opportunities when they come hoping for the best? I have decided on the later. I applied for the job. The posting came down yesterday and I have no idea how long it will take to review resumes and organize interviews. And who knows who will come out of the dark for this job, it's a good position that is desired by many in my field.
So now I wait (seems to be my theme song) to see if I will get an interview. Cross your fingers for me!