Most of the time when we encounter strangers T and I get big smiles and "he's SO cute!" So far no one has made really inconsiderate comments about our family.
However, the comment we have heard over and over is...
"I always wanted a black baby."
I am extremely irritated by this statement and my return reply is always "then you should have married a black man."
I did not pick T off the shelves of Zellers, choosing a black baby because of the novelty that it is. We thought long and hard about being open to different races when choosing to build our family through adoption. The fact that we are a transracial family changes each of our lives in very significant ways. D and I need to be extremely intentional in how we parent and will not be able to take certain things for granted that families of the same color do.
I think what irritates me the most when people tell me they always wanted a black baby is that they will never look at our family in 4 years and say they always wanted a black toddler, or in 14 years and they always wanted a black teenager, or that they always wanted a black son-in-law. Let's face it, in general, black babies are cuter then white babies and this is by far the reason people make the above statement.
Yes, he is absolutely adorable. But please don't tell me you always wanted a black baby, which in a round about way implies that he is an accessory, a novelty, and belittles our intentional decisions on how to build our family.
4 comments:
Well said Lavonne.
I can't believe people would say that.... or even think that way! Some people are just so stupid!
You said a mouthful!
Oohh...just like the white girls in high school who lived in the 'white' end of the city (I was in the multi-cultural end). They'd see a black guy and instantly want to date him. Growing up in a mixed race family, this was always enough to make me want to vomit.
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