Say it with me.
A pregnant woman is NOT a birth mom until she has signed relinquishment paperwork.
I continue to see...on so many prospective adoptive parent blogs...inappropriate language used to describe a woman who is considering adoption for her unborn child.
Until papers have been signed, every pregnant woman is an expectant mother.
Bottom line.
I really wish more people in adoption land would get this. Especially adoptive parents. The general public may be confused about adoption language, but we shouldn't be.
We all talk about respecting "birth moms" and acknowledging the difficult decisions they are facing.
Then let's respect all women who are considering placement and do them the courtesy of not using labels before any decisions have been made.
3 comments:
I think everyone understands the intent, and I don't see it's disrespectful to use "birth mom" - have you found this semantic difference to be an issue for many expectant mothers?
Yes Kasey, it does make a difference to expectant moms. At least in the blogs I've followed.
What really gets me though is how adoptive parents refer to their child's birthmom as 'their' birthmom. She didn't give birth to them, just their child. It's like they are claiming ownership of her.
@debbie - i also get so irritated when people refer to their child's birthmom as their own. the language we use in these instances is so important.
@kasey - this is more than semantics and assumed intent. like debbie mentioned, all the first mom blogs i follow now and in the past have been quite clear on this issue. we are already labeling women prior to placement. and no one likes a label.
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