gratitude

A good friend of mine took family photos of us shortly after T turned one year old. It was mid-September and the day was gorgeous. I know my friend is a good photographer (she took T's baby pictures as well) so I was expecting some great photos.

But what she showed me blew me away. They are stunning.

I have watched the slideshow of all our pictures countless times and each time I am struck with feelings of privilege, gratitude, and blessing. I've been thinking about all of this for at least a week and still have a hard time even articulating what it is that I feel to myself, but I'm going to give it a try.

I sometimes wonder if, as an adoptive mom, my experience and feelings of motherhood basics are somewhat different from a biological mom. I know that at times I definitely have a different perspective on motherhood -- waiting and working so hard to become something that many take forgranted will do that. But what I am referring to here is different.

I feel an intense sense of privilege at having been given the opportunity to parent this remarkable little boy. And in this context I am referring to privilege as an honor and pleasure. As I look at our family photos I wonder how it is that I am so fortunate to be allowed to watch T grow up and develop. I am still struck by the fact that I am his mom and have the potential to greatly impact his life.

The key concept here is opportunity. Having a family wasn't assumed or a given. Entering motherhood via adoption brings with it a sense of awe. We were chosen. A stranger decided that we would parent their child. An amazing set of circumstances made becoming a mom possible.

There is a depth and richness to what I am feeling that I'm not sure I can ever fully explain. I am so incredibly grateful for T's presence in my life. After experiencing 18 months of loss, the joy motherhood has granted me is indescribable.

The photos tell part of our story. And to me it's a beautiful moment. A moment of privilege, blessing, and gratitude.

And to my photographer friend (you know who you are!)...I am also grateful for you and your willingness to share your time and talent. Thank you.

I will post a few of my favourite photos on T's private blog. If you want access, leave a comment or send me an email, letting me know who you are.