Sunday, January 1, 2012

a swollen heart

I have had many opportunities during this holiday season to sit back and observe my son.

I have watched him be silly, laugh, give hugs and kisses, be sweet, share, build, and deconstruct. It has been a good holiday season for our little family.

As my heart was swelling with the intense love I have for this child, I was very struck by the fact that I am so privileged and honoured to be able to parent this remarkable little boy. God weaved our lives and J's together, and the result was that we became T's forever family. But as much as I can't imagine my life without T, I'm aware that life could have turned out differently for all of us. 

All the choices we had to make when starting the adoption process --- to adopt in the first place, which agency, location, age, etc. all played a role in God's weaving process. And of course, all the huge decisions J had to make regarding her son and the future. 

The idea that a stranger has entrusted their child to you is a mind blowing thing. Something that you never take lightly and will always be a part of you.

My heart is so full of love for this little boy. A love that is hard to articulate to others who haven't walked a similar journey. It is a love that transcends biology and genetics, a love that always recognizes the honour, privilege, and blessing. And a love that remembers the journey of all triad members.

My heart is swollen.

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