adoption and advent

A while back someone referred to our waiting period as a time of Advent (thanks C!). Initially I thought, yeah, that just sounds like a nice analogy, but I've had some time to think this through and have realized the perfect connection between our waiting and the waiting during Advent. Advent is a term meaning "coming" or "arrival"...it is about preparing, anticipating, and waiting during the Christmas season. This advent refection really resonated with me and in my mind so clearly links my waiting time with Advent...

"Within the preparation and anticipation, do we make time for the waiting? Waiting in quietness to hear God speak. Waiting in wonder to know Christ...Waiting in silence to experience the Holy Spirit enfolding us. Let us prepare, anticipate, and wait..."

Mm...more things for me to ponder. Am I too wrapped up in preparing for and anticipating a child...or have I made time for the waiting? What does this waiting time really mean for me? Is it a time to wish away and hurry through so I can finally become a parent? Or is it a time for me to learn and grow from? What does it mean to "wait in wonder?" The word "wonder" means amazed admiration or awe. Truthfully, I'm generally not full of too much awe and amazement when I consider my waiting time! I'm still not quite sure how to "wait in wonder" during an adoption but I feel that I need to be very intentional during this time.

So, this year Advent will start a bit early in my house! D and I have committed to engage in some simple practices to firmly root our preparing, anticipating, and waiting for a child in the Lord. Since the beginning of November, every Sunday dinner and evening is mini-date night in our house! We spend these evenings together first prayerfully talking and processing our waiting and the waiting during Advent and then we do something fun together just the two of us. I believe this is also a commitment to our marriage and will help to strengthen the foundation we have already built during the past 12 years (can't believe it's been that long!!). We need to make good use of the time we have left as a family of two and hopefully this will help to prepare our relationship for the chaos that awaits us!

I know the waiting will still be hard but I pray that I am able to use this time in healthy ways so as to keep myself sane(!) but most importantly, to learn and grow from this experience.