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Thursday, November 6, 2008

things i'm learning about myself

I admit it…I’m a fact-finder!

Well, truthfully, I only exhibit some fact-finding tendencies as outlined by the Kolbe test. The Kolbe test is about discovering how a person takes action in certain situations, what one will and won’t do. It’s not about your personality or intelligence, but how you "do". According to Kolbe, there are 4 modes of action: the fact-finder, quick-start, follow-thru, and implementer. I haven’t officially taken the test (although I would be interested) but I think I've got some strong quick-start and fact-finding qualities.

Back to the fact-finder action mode. D is a fact-finder, through and through, and I am learning that at times I lean this way as well. I wouldn’t have pegged myself as acting at all as a fact-finder considering that at work I really don’t feel that I exhibit many fact-finding characteristics. But I truly am a fact-finder in any situation that is important to me. (Not that work isn’t important…it’s just that…well, you know…its work!). I have learned this tidbit about myself while working through this adoption process. D and I are VERY aware of the process, what needs to be done and when, we’ve researched flights, hotels, immigration, etc. and have all the information ready to go at our finger tips. There is a strength in our ability to operate in this way, as we both have a high level of awareness and feel at peace when we know what is all involved in the process, however, this leaves little room for us to “go with the flow” or be spontaneous. We constantly need to remind ourselves that surprises will pop up during the adoption (especially during the custody and immigration piece) that we had not accounted for and we’ll need to be okay with that. This is a part of why the waiting is hard in adoption…because I like to know all the details of what’s going on, it’s hard when your future is in someone else’s hands. We lost our control in family planning a long time ago and I think that is what threw me into action. I could finally DO something, gather information, research and understand the process. Now that the doing is over, it’s back to “being.” It’s hard to just BE in the wait, especially when you don’t have much control over what the wait will look like.

I just thought of another area in life where I exhibit some fact-finding and quick-start characteristics….at Disney! Don’t get in my way and a good time at any theme park! I will take control and manage the theme park map and create a realistic plan and direction, needing to know everything that’s going on at the park that day. Many of you reading this have experienced this phenomenon first hand…and would likely just call it being bossy!

I wonder what the fact-finder action hero would look like?!

1 comment:

Nathan & Julia said...

The "fact-finding action hero" would look exactly like you with a Disney map in one hand, your watch in the other and of course...a cape! As your little sister, I can call you bossy...but you're right...the way you've jumped in and found out all the facts about what adoption means is a strength. There's never a time when I ask a question that you don't know the answer. You've always done your homework. It's wonderful the way you've made yourselves aware of the journey before you and have embraced the massive amounts of information that you've had to sift through.