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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

happy bday to me...

Today I turn 34. Wait a minute…is that right? Thirty-four! How the heck did that happen?! The early 30’s are slipping away from me! Eek!

I’m really struggling with this birthday. Typically birthdays come and go for me without a ton of fan fare. They are significant but yet not, all at the same time. I generally don’t have a problem with getting older. I loved turning 30 and totally embraced it but this year highlights my continual aging process without children. Another birthday. Another year gone by…all 365 days worth. And still no kids. I must say that D has really worked to make this day extra special, he woke up early to make me Belgium waffles! What a sweet man I have!

I didn’t want to be an older mom. I have an older mom and I didn’t want to be that for my kids. I wanted to be the cool mom that dressed trendy and still understood what it was like to be young. A friend recently assured me that we would be older cool moms to young children together but I’m not feeling it right now. I’m feeling old. Fine lines and saggy parts have settled in. I have limited energy and oomph. I realize that many women enter the adoption world quite a bit older then me but considering I got married all those years ago I would have expected a family by now! On the flip side D and I sure have built a solid foundation to our marriage. And this is definitely important for building a family.

Oh well. Happy Birthday to me. Good food and good company…along with a glass of wine or two are on the agenda tonight!

6 comments:

Sabrina said...

Happy day to you! I, for one, would not have guessed you were 34. And second, think that you have absolutely fabulous style. Age is not necessarily an indicator of who will be a frumpy mom (and there's nothing wrong with frumpy mom's, either! They can still love their babies just the same!)

I don't doubt for a second that you and D will have experiences, perspective and wisdom in parenting that those who start younger are not fortunate enough to have. That is already evidenced in the thoughtfulness and intentionality you have shown throughout the adoption process so far. I deeply respect that about you.

I pray that this year will be one filled with hope, joy, and thanksgiving for the things God has and will continue to do in your life.

Glad D made you feel special!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to you!! Did you know you're only ten days older than I am?

Chad, Laura, Sara and Seth said...

Sorry to break it to you, but you are no longer in your "early" thirties - you are offically in your "mid" thirties.

Also, if it makes you feel better - I don't know any mom at any age that was cool or trendy to their teenage children.

Happy Birthday - it will be agood year.

Laura

Kim said...

A day late...but I hope you had a Happy Birthday. birthdays are not always what we expect, nor is the year that is past or the one that is to come (for me it was my 30th - I too had expected a baby right near my birthday...that was a sad birthday). Glad to see you embrace where you are at...even when it is difficult. Nice the D made you waffles...yum...I'd love waffles, real waffles made with eggs and milk - not the fake ones i've got to make! Birthday hugs coming your way!

Guera! said...

I hope you had a wonderful birthday. Ahhhh to be 34 again. (I'm just 38 ;) ). I certainly understand wanting to be a young mother. I wish you the best.

Lavonne said...

Thanks to all of you for your bday wishes. Sounds like I've got a chance at being a trendy older mom!!

And happy early bday Heather, fellow '75 baby!