I'll share from my own experience--thought since I actually wasn't the one giving birth that it'd be SO EASY with the sleepless nights, etc. I was SO WRONG.This comment reminded me of something I once heard...
Apparently when a woman is pregnant she experiences hormonal shifts during her last trimester that actually prepares her body to deal with the sleepless nights associated with a newborn. Plus, because she is so uncomfortable she ends up sleeping less during the night hence preparing her and her body to be able to function without a lot of sleep. A woman who adopts a child does not experience any of these hormone shifts etc. and her body and mind aren’t as prepared for little to no sleep.
Now before those of you who have birthed children dispute this theory with horror stories of sleeplessness let me first say that I don’t think this is a competition to see who experiences less sleep the worst. I’m not trying to make excuses for women who adopt newborns. And I get that the labor experience plus healing that occurs afterward is no piece of cake and can impact how someone does post-natally. I just thought it was an interesting theory and with at least one friend who adopted a newborn it seemed to be true. And it sorta makes sense to me. Not much will change in my life up until a baby is placed with us. I’m not getting larger and uncomfortable. I think this visual and physical change not only causes a woman to slow down but it also starts preparing her mind for what is about to happen. Those of us who adopt newborns don’t experience this same sort of preparation.
I also can’t remember exactly where I heard this theory of sleep but I’m pretty sure it was at a conference while I was working with prenatal and postnatal women. I tried to google it but couldn’t think of great search words. If anyone can affirm or dispute this theory please do.
So even though I’m trying to prepare my mind for what life with a newborn will look like, the sleepless nights just might hit me harder than I think. I guess time will tell. I’ll have to revisit this post whenever a baby is placed with us to let you know what the real deal is.
5 comments:
I remember saying when I was expecting G that it was a good thing I had to pee 3 times in a night, because it was practice for waking up for feeds. I do recall thinking my body was 'gearing up' for what was ahead. I wouldn't dispute the theory at all...but agree wholeheartedly that it will be a HUGE shift if you're going from 8 or so hours of solid sleep. No doubt the adrenaline will kick in either way though as you wake up to frantic cries!
Okay, though, we found out about Woob a month before he was born and for a few weeks before he came, I consistently woke up at midnight, two and four, like on the dot. It was weird that I just started doing this totally not on purpose, but I thought that it would be helpful. Sadly, it still wasn't enough preparation. :) But I am by nature a sleepy sleepy girl.
I don't totally disagree with the theory...but my situation provides a new light on it that makes me think a little differently about it. Norah was early - so my sleepless nights weren't too sleepless. Also, I had 5 1/2 weeks of healing before she came - which allowed me to catch up on rest. When she came home - getting up wasn't always easy and at the beginning I was tired - but I don't recall it being tooo bad. I also, am not a person who usually needs ooooodles of sleep. Granted I was up every 3-4 hours at night before she came home so that I could pump and we were still really busy going back and forth from the hospital etc. However, I think that whether or not you will be tired also depends on your bodies need for sleep. Also, it gets used to it fairly quickly. I find that if I get tooo much sleep I often feel more lazy and tired. Anywho...that was a lot of rambling. I think when baby comes for you, you won't care and your body will adjust quickly to getting up at night! Plus, some of the best snuggles come at night!!
The woman's body is an amazing thing isn't it? And I don't think we can read or write enough that it's not a competition. Lori at The Road Less Travelled had an excellent post a while back about the competition that seems to exist between childess couples and parents regarding being busy and tired and I think it applies to this too.
Yeah, I would agree that the sleepless nights are hard no matter what the situation...and I also agree that some of the best snuggles come at night. I will never forget many of those moments. I am excited for you to experience your own sleepless nights for those special times.
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