one year blogoversary

One year ago I started this blog as a way to document my journey along the path that I hoped would make me a mother. One year ago I was excited and nervous, while anticipating what might be my future. Well the past year hasn't exactly turned out as anticipated. This is my blogging year in review.

August 08: Elated because our file was approved by our Provincial Government. Deflated because our agency needlessly sent it to Ottawa for authentication which resulted in a month of wasted time.

September 08: Excited because our file was finally in the hands of our American agency.

October 08: Frustrated at the length of time it was taking them to approve our file.

November 08: Full of anticipation because our file was now approved and active.

December 08: Bouncing off the walls with excitement because we received word the first time that our profile would be shown. Crushed when we found out she didn't pick us. Distressed at the process our American agency uses with us having to approve each and every time our profile is shown.

January 09: The New Year brought feelings of hope and possibility.

February 09: Anger and frustration with our Canadian agency when we found out decisions were being made about our file without our knowledge and consent.

March 09: Overall frustration with the process but still hopeful for the future.

April 09: The sadness began to set in at the length of waiting (we were now updating our file) and knowing our profile was shown a few times but we weren't picked.

May 09: Stressed out with the process. Minimal excitement felt when receiving word that our profile would be shown.

June 09: In shock. A picked us!

July 09: In shock. Baby was born sick so the adoption couldn't proceed. Grief and sadness proceeded to take over once again.

August 09: Feeling empty. Trying to find a small piece of hope in what feels like the impossible quest to have a family.

Here's to hoping that the next 12 months will bring more joy and happiness...