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Sunday, December 13, 2009

my sad dad day

Today is the anniversary of my father's death. I can't believe it has been 8 years since I heard him laugh, listened to his funny excited noises while watching sports, watched him maneuver a toothpick like some sort of pro, or smelled his aftershave. I miss him.

I would have loved to have had the opportunity to introduce my dad to baby T. I wonder what he would have thought. Would he have had questions about adoption or about our openness to race? What would he have done when we arrived home with T? I would have loved to see my dad as a grandpa. He would have been excellent.

The days leading up to today have not been as difficult as usual. I am now somewhat distracted! I didn't even loathe Christmas shopping like usual. Having T in our lives does bring new perspective to me at this time of year. Slowly my experience of the holiday season is changing from grief filled to one seen through the eyes of a child. For this I am thankful.

I will never forget my dad and how my life changed significantly on this day years ago, but the grief continues to be reshaped as time marches on. And someday I will introduce T to my father, I will tell him stories of growing up with a great role model and a caring, loving dad. My prayer is that T grows up to be the kind of man my dad was.

5 comments:

Julia said...

I have so often thought of dad and what a wonderful grandpa he would have made. Makes me so sad that our babies won't know him like we did.

Derrick, Alysia, and Levi said...

This was a special post. My mom died six years ago this past October 9. I still miss her every day and I know that when we have a baby home I will long even more to be able to share that with her.
Blessings to you this Christmas season as you remember your dad, and celebrate life with your son.
What keeps me going is knowing that this life is not the end and someday in heaven I hope to introduce my mom to my future baby. I know you will have such fun introducing your son to your dad.
Merry Christmas!
Alysia

Kara said...

Thinking and praying for you especially today. I have no doubt that T will grow up hearing great stories about your dad.

Kim said...

Hugs to you my friend. I'm sure T will grow to love the memories/stories of his grandfather.

The Isaacs said...

Love and hugs to you!