why the united states?

One of the questions we get asked when people find out that we are planning to adopt a child from the US is...why there? Our first choice would have been to adopt a child locally so we would be able to have a relationship with the child's first family. However, due to many different reasons the average wait for a domestic adoption in our province is at least 4-8 years. I wasn't willing to wait that long!

Most people around here adopt children from overseas international locations with Ethiopia being by far the most popular. Our agency here has a really well developed program with Ethiopia and generally the children arrive in Canada around ~9m at the earliest. Then we heard from friends of ours in a different province that they know people who adopted a child from the US. As we researched this option it seemed to fit and feel right for us. Adoptions from the US generally involve newborn babies and there are opportunities to have an open relationship (contact through letters, phone, and possibly visits, etc) with the first (birth) family. (I am aware of potential ethical concerns of newborn adoption and the possibility that expectant mothers are coerced into placing their children and pray that our US agency takes measures to avoid this). Both of these things are important to us which is why we chose to proceed with an American adoption. So this is still considered an international adoption (even though the US feels just like a neighbor!) which means we are also subject to all the immigration laws and paperwork (mountains of paperwork!).

The next most asked question comes after people find out that we are planning to adopt an African-American baby. Why? Because when we initially started thinking about adoption we were aware that a strong option was to adopt a child from Ethiopia and this would mean we would become a multi- or trans-racial family. We were also aware that most often the babies that are adopted from the US into Canada are African-American or bi-racial. D and I spent a lot of time talking, thinking, and praying about this and we are both excited about becoming a trans-racial family. This will present us with some unique challenges but we're up for it! There are some great resources available to us in the form of reading material and most importantly other trans-racial adoptive families. Who better to learn from then others who have walked the journey ahead of you!

Some of the questions we get asked when we start talking about adoption with friends and acquaintances are really interesting. I'm sometimes amazed at what people will say and I'm still learning how to put the answers together!