fate and adoption

This post was on my mind after reading Mei-Ling's post on "Fate" by Choice.

I do not believe that "everything happens for a reason." This view can be unpopular in some of my Christian circles. I think that some Christians are too focused on the Omniscient character of God and pay less attention to the free will He has given us.

I do believe that God knows how my future family will come to be, however I believe that He sees all and knows all while loving me so much that He gives me free will to choose my path. I do not believe that God has pre-destined one particular baby to come into our lives for the purpose of making us parents. To believe that would mean I believe God creates crisis and tragedy in one woman's life so that I benefit. I do not believe in that kind of God. We all make choices and decisions in life and then find ways to work through the consequences. I must be aware of the responsibility I have in making choices (all the while still asking for God's wisdom and leading) and not use the cop out of "everything happens for a reason" or "it was meant to be." These sentiments are often used in adoption and I struggle with how to respond.

I do believe in birth family preservation when at all possible and that God desires this for each child that is born. However, choices are made (sometimes out of the control of the individual) and then somehow in the middle of it all God works to bring people together. I don't think this is fate or meant to be but rather an all-powerful, all-loving God who works in each of our lives in mysterious ways that we will never be able to completely understand.

Read Mei-Ling's post on fate and adoption to get a perspective from an adoptee.