What does it mean to be completely content?
D and I were talking the other night about how we too often look forward to some future event for contentment. Once so and so happens...THEN everything will be good in life and we'll feel content. We both have a tendency to lean towards this line of thinking. What this does though, is rob us of the pleasure of today.
Currently I am struggling with being okay with today and not looking ahead to being a mom and how much I want my life to change. This is most apparent for me while at work. It's so hard to start a new project or work on something that isn't urgent because I'll daydream about the day we finally get "the call" and wonder if it's worth putting in extra effort at work if I'll just be leaving anyway. My work day becomes very long when I think this way. And it doesn't help that I have large windows in my office...perfect for day dreaming!
Do you remember when Oprah did that gratitude journal thing? I had one of those journals and still remember writing in it. I wonder if it's time to revisit that idea (not in a cheesy sort of way but rather taking a real look at life and gratefulness). These days I'm feeling less and less grateful for the blessings I have in life, the here and now. Instead of wishing away parts of my life my desire is to be grateful for what I do have and content with where I am at in life.
I want to learn how to live in today. To capture the power of Tiggerness I think it's about knowing how to spend time living in the moment of each day. It's still important to plan for the future but all my problems won't disappear the day we become parents. In fact, life as we know it will turn completely upside down and a bunch of new problems will be created! The thing is that I feel ready for that new world. I'm not naive in what parenting will look like. We are old enough to have seen many of our friends become parents and know what the real deal is. Nevertheless acknowledging today for today, and trying to find contentment with where I am in life is important.
This is what I'm searching for as I desire a Tigger filled kind of life.
2 comments:
I echo your struggle with being content in the moment some days. I have discovered that when we continually seek the future we fail to see the Jesus moments in our day.
Praying that your eyes would be fixed upon the day at hand and the many God moments in the day!
I understand your thoughts on the competition part of being chosen. My husband and I jokingly called ourselves "Bubba and Bertha" in this "Ken and Barbie" world. We had adoption professionals tell us that the attractive couples usually get picked the quickest. Well, all that said, God is sovereign. Both of our adoptions were 9 months, from 1st phone call to get the ball rolling to placement. God is good. Praying for you as you wait.
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