awkward conversation

This week I started my new job. Within the first half an hour, of the first day, I was meeting with my supervisor and explaining our adoption plans. It was an awkward conversation to have.

My immediate supervisor was not a part of the interview. I was interviewed by two other individuals who I also report too. At the end of the interview I disclosed our adoption plans -- one of the two already knew, so I thought it was important to just lay it all on the table and be transparent about my situation. When I was offered the job, I again mentioned that we were in the process of adopting a child and was told that this fact couldn't be factored into their decision on who to hire. Prior to applying for the job I did some research about the option of taking a parental leave shortly after being hired. I thought I was in a position to be able to negotiate taking a leave of absence.

After accepting the position I did some additional research. It turns out that the information I was given was incorrect. Labor laws state that one must be in continuous employment with the same employer for at least 7 months to take parental leave and be guaranteed a job at the end. Well that doesn't sit well with me since I sincerely hope that I won't be waiting another 7 months before becoming a mom and I really don't want to have to give up this permanent position.

Apparently I can still try to negotiate being granted parental leave earlier than the 7 months, but this means you need to be working in an environment where the human resources department has half a heart. I do not work in such a place. In fact, the HR department of my employer is known to be unlike any other.....and not in a good way.

By having that awkward conversation on my first day of work, my hope was to get my supervisor on my side. He was very supportive of the adoption. He acknowledged the difficulties many have with HR. And he did say that he would look into it and see what he could do for me. I'm really doubtful that things will work out in my favor...but I guess you never know.

But this whole situation plays with my mind. I've found myself hoping that we don't hear from our agency for awhile so that I can clock in more time at this job. But thinking that way doesn't sit well with the part of me that really wants a child. I know that we have options with this parental leave. D could take the first part of it and then I take the later part, after putting in the 7 months. That certainly isn't ideal for many reasons. I feel like I have given up so much already in our journey to have a family and this is just one more kick in the ass. It sure sucks to continually face more unknowns.

Just one more mountain to climb in the ongoing expedition that has become my life.