Baby T has beautiful eyes. Stunning really. And I can say that because I played no part in creating them! The first thing strangers comment on when encountering us, is his eyes.
I wonder about those eyes. How will they see the world in the future? Through what lens will they view his story. A story and life determined for him by three adults. How will those eyes look at the pain and loss in his story? Will they find joy and happiness there as well?
When those eyes look at me...really look at me...what do they see? Do those eyes know that I am not his first mom? Not the woman he expected. How will those eyes look at me when he realizes my skin is a different color. Mine the color of privilege and his is not. Do those eyes see my love for him or my uncertainty in the role of mom? Or both.
I, like everyone else, am struck by the beauty in those eyes. I see innocence and unawareness of what is yet to come. I can get lost in those eyes...deep, dark pools. Presently those eyes are observant, always looking and watching, taking everything in. I hurt knowing those eyes will reflect pain, loss, and uncertainty. I understand this is somewhat of a rite of passage that every child, adolescent, and young adult will experience to some degree. But I know there will be an extra layer of grief felt and reflected in those eyes.
Today I look into those dark eyes and smile knowing that for the time being they remain innocent and trusting. The innocence of a child is a beautiful thing.
And I hope I reflect openness and honesty in my eyes as those eyes unravel a story of loss and love.
3 comments:
this is truly beautiful, lavonne.
Those eyes have and will continue to melt hearts. His eyes are stunning indeed.
He does have beautiful eyes! And by the way, you'd be allowed to say that even if you did have a part in the genetics of them. he is your child and you are his mommy and you are 100% allowed to be proud of him!
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